Why Is It So Hard to Break a Habit?
We’re sharing the secret to unlearning old behaviors and creating new healthy habits!
Here are 5 reasons why it feels hard to break a habit and adopt a new, healthier behavior.
1. Habits are comfortable
Your current behavior is comfortable.
It’s what you know.
It’s what you’re familiar with.
It’s what you’re used to doing.
Continuing your current behavior or habit allows you to stay in your comfort zone. This is a place that feels safe.
Changing your behavior requires leaving your comfort zone, which means leaving the familiar and entering the unknown. This can cause fear, anxiety, and doubt, which can make change “scary” and uncomfortable.
We like to feel comfortable, but change is not comfortable. To build a new habit, be prepared to embrace the discomfort of change. Change, growth, and success all happen outside of your comfort zone.
2. Habits have benefits
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your current behavior has benefits. For example, let’s say you plan to start waking up early to exercise before work.
Your current habit includes sleeping until 7:00 a.m.
You want to establish a new habit of waking up at 6:00 a.m.
Although morning exercise is something you want to do and feel motivated to do, it means giving up the benefits associated with sleeping longer.
These benefits might include:
Staying warm
Feeling comfortable
Conserving energy
Being more rested for work
Etc.
Giving up benefits can make change feel hard, which is why it’s essential to identify the benefits of your new behavior.
Benefits of getting up early to exercise might include:
Feeling proud of yourself
Getting to watch your favorite show while exercising
Setting a healthy example for a family member
Enjoying time to yourself
Etc.
Identifying the immediate benefit(s) of a new behavior is something I talk about in my (Free) Motivation Mini-Course. It’s one of three motivation tricks I share in addition to five must-know facts about motivation.
3. Habits feel automatic
A habit is a habit for a reason. You’ve repeated a particular behavior so many times that it has become almost involuntary or automatic.
Example:
Let’s say you have a habit of drinking soda at your desk. This might be such an engrained behavior that some days you don’t even realize you’re drinking it until something grabs your attention and you notice it’s half gone.
A habit is something you no longer have to think about, which means you can save time and energy for other things.
Breaking a habit and doing something different means spending time and energy. Changing behavior requires both physical and mental energy. It also requires constant work and attention, which makes it feel hard.
Your new behavior will eventually become automatic, but this takes time, practice, patience, and persistence.
4. You are surrounded by triggers
Behavior has triggers, which means behavior is prompted by something. You might perform a behavior in response to being in a particular location or noticing it’s a certain time of day.
Triggers can include:
People
Places
Thoughts
Feelings
Situations
Actions
Objects
Time
Etc.
In order to change a habit, it’s important to become aware of your triggers, and then make changes to your environment to minimize exposure to them.
Example:
If you’re used to stopping at a certain fast food restaurant for takeout after work, you might decide to take a different route home to avoid driving past that restaurant.
5. You are good at your behavior
Your current behavior is something you have lots of practice at and are probably very good at. It’s something you might have done thousands of times!
Example:
Let’s say you’ve had dessert every night after dinner for the past 10 years. This means you’ve done this 3,650 times!
Here’s the math: 10 years x 365 days per year = 3,650 desserts after dinner
No wonder it’s so hard to change! As soon as you put your fork down, you’re probably craving dessert.
5 Difference Between Hunger and Cravings
Now this isn’t meant to overwhelm or discourage you. This example is simply meant to convey empathy for the difficulty of change.
Building a new habit might feel like learning to write with the opposite hand. Change is hard, but it is possible! Start small, be realistic, and be patient with yourself.