5 Words That Are Blocking Your Success
Learn how to rephrase common statements in order to boost success, increase support, and achieve your health and wellness goals!
Your words have power! Here are 5 sets of words to eliminate from your vocabulary in order to support yourself and immediately feel more successful as you work to build healthy habits.
Good / Bad
It’s common for people to use the words “good” and “bad” to describe their behavior or progress toward a goal. Someone focused on eating healthier or exercising might say things like:
“I was good today.”
“I was bad at lunch.”
“I had a bad week.”
“I’m planning to be good this weekend.”
Etc.
The problem with the words “good” and “bad” is that they imply judgment. They imply judgment toward yourself, toward your actions, toward food, or toward something else.
When it comes to making healthy and sustainable lifestyle changes, there is no room for judgment. Nobody likes to be judged and this certainly won’t help you achieve your goals.
Delete the words “good” and “bad” from your vocabulary and instead, simply state the facts. For example:
“I ate a donut.”
“I walked for 10 minutes.”
“I chose to eat a sandwich for lunch instead of a salad.”
“I didn’t exercise today.”
Eating a donut, walking for 10 minutes, changing your lunch plan, or not exercising are not inherently good or bad behaviors, and certainly don’t mean that you were good or bad.
Think of yourself as an outside observer of your behavior. Focus on the facts and keep emotions, opinions, and judgment out of your statements.
Failed / Cheated
Have you ever made statements like “I failed” or “I messed up” when you didn’t stick to a plan?
Statements like these are common, especially among people who strive for perfection, tend to think in all-or-nothing terms, or have followed rigid diets or plans.
Other common phrases include:
“I cheated.”
“I blew it (the day, week, etc.).”
“I fell off the wagon.”
Etc.
The problem with these types of statements is they imply that you’ve made a mistake or done something wrong. However, this is never the case when it comes to creating lasting behavior change.
When it comes to building new healthy habits, there is no such thing as failure. There is progress and there is learning.
The next time you notice yourself saying “I failed” (or any other version of this), use the words “I learned” instead.
Example
Let’s say you skipped a workout you had planned for Monday morning. Instead of telling yourself or others that you “failed”, “blew it”, or “screwed up your week”, state what you learned.
Maybe you learned that:
It’s really hard to get up early on Mondays.
Setting a second alarm could be helpful.
Exercising later in the day might be a more realistic option.
Etc.
Switch from a place of judgment to a place of curiosity, and ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. Then use that information to help you move forward.
Should / Have to
How often do you talk about your plans for healthy eating, exercise, or other behavior in terms of something you “should” do? It’s common for people to say things like:
“I should (insert behavior).”
“I have to (insert behavior).”
“I need to (insert behavior).”
“I’m supposed to (insert behavior).”
The problem with these types of statements is they generally mean you’re feeling external pressure to do something.
This means you’re likely to act out of guilt (or feel guilty for not acting) instead of making a decision based on your own personal preferences and desires.
The next time you notice yourself saying “I should…”, replace it with the words “I could...”
This simple switch in wording turns your target behavior into an option. It’s now an option (that you may or may not choose to do) instead of something you feel like you “have” to do.
Example
Instead of saying “I should go to the gym”, say “I could go to the gym”. Then think about what else you could do. Other options might include:
Taking your dog for a walk.
Browsing online for an exercise video.
Etc.
Review your options, and then make your own decision about what you feel ready, willing, and able to do.
We as humans like freedom of choice and that’s what this approach offers. Nobody likes being told what to do, which is what “should” statements feel like.
Try
Have you ever “tried” to do something? How did it go? When it comes to stating goals or plans, it’s common for people to start their statements with the words “I’ll try”.
For example:
“I’ll try to make it to the gym.”
“I’ll try to make a healthy dinner tonight.”
“I’ll try to drink more water today.”
The problem with the word “try” is that it generally implies you’re not fully committed to your goal.
You might not be ready to make that particular change.
What you plan to do might seem unrealistic or overwhelming.
Your might have other competing priorities.
You might not feel confident in your ability to achieve your goal.
Etc.
When it comes to building a healthy habit, there is no such thing as trying. There is practice and there is doing.
The next time you notice yourself saying “I’ll try…”, use the words “I will…” instead. This may require adjusting your goal or breaking it down into a smaller or more manageable task.
Choose a small and realistic change you are ready, willing, and able to make; then use the B.E.S.T. Framework to create an effective goal you know you can achieve. That way you can confidently state “I will” followed by your goal.
Another option is to add the word “practice…”. For example, “I will practice cooking a healthy dinner tonight”.
Practice means choosing to do something with the intention of getting better at it. Using the word “practice” can help take the pressure off of perfectionist tendencies and increase the likelihood of following through. After all, it’s practice!
Only / Just
Do you ever find yourself inserting the word “only” or “just” into statements about progress toward your goal? Many of my clients tell me things like:
“I only exercised for 20 minutes.”
“I only met my goal one day this week.”
“I just cooked one healthy meal.”
The problem with using the words “only” and “just” in a sentence is that they discount or minimize the positive behavior being referenced. You’re essentially judging your performance and implying that it doesn’t count or isn’t enough.
In order to support yourself and acknowledge your progress, delete these words from your statements and add an exclamation mark at the end!
For example:
“I exercised for 20 minutes!”
“I met my goal one day this week!”
“I cooked one healthy meal!”
When it comes to building healthy habits that last, every step forward in the direction of your goals is important to acknowledge! Celebrate your actions (no matter how small they may seem) without minimizing or discounting them.
Observe your thoughts and conversations over the next few days to see which of these words you might be using and how often.
Then start rephrasing your statements with more supportive language!